WHEN SUMMER FEELS TOO MUCH

Navigating Anxiety, Overstimulation, and Birth Trauma While Raising Twins

Her twins raced in opposite directions. One needed a snack. The other had fallen over. Music blasted nearby. A dog barked. Someone called out across the playground. Suddenly, everything felt too much.Her heart began to race. Her chest tightened. The urge to leave became overwhelming. As she looked around, she couldn't help wondering why everyone else seemed to be coping so much better.

What Gemma didn't fully recognise was that she wasn't simply managing a busy summer day with twins. She was managing a busy summer day with twins while carrying the invisible impact of birth trauma. And that can place enormous demands on an already overloaded nervous system.

The Hidden Weight Many Twin Parents Carry

Parenting twins is extraordinary, but it's also demanding in ways many people never fully understand. There are two sets of needs to meet. Two children to keep safe. Two emotional worlds to navigate. Two little people who often need completely different things at exactly the same moment. For many parents of twins, daily life requires constant planning, multitasking, and vigilance.

The mental load is significant before breakfast has even been served. When birth trauma has also been part of your journey, your nervous system may still be carrying an unseen burden long after the physical recovery has ended. This is often where overwhelm begins.

Birth Trauma and the "Open Tabs" Effect

I often describe trauma as being like having dozens of tabs open in the background of your internet browser. Even when you're not actively looking at them, they're still running.

They're still using energy. One tab may be scanning for danger. Another may be holding anxiety. Another may be carrying unresolved emotions from your birth experience. Another may be preparing for the next potential crisis. Every tab consumes resources. Then summer arrives. Routines change. Sleep becomes disrupted. Holidays, family gatherings, day trips, playground visits, heat, noise, and social expectations suddenly fill the calendar. For twin parents, there are often double the logistics and double the stimulation. Eventually, those open tabs begin to slow everything down.

The exhaustion, anxiety, and overstimulation you feel are not signs of weakness. They are often signs that your nervous system is already working incredibly hard.

Why Summer Can Intensify Anxiety

Many parents tell me: "I thought I'd be over this by now." But trauma isn't something we simply think our way out of. When the nervous system has experienced something overwhelming, it can become more sensitive to stress, uncertainty, and sensory overload.

Busy seasons often amplify these responses.

You may notice:

• Feeling constantly on edge

• Snapping more easily than usual

• Racing thoughts that won't switch off Increased worry about your children

• Difficulty relaxing, even when you have the opportunity

• Emotional exhaustion

• Avoiding busy places or social situations

These are not personal failings. They are often signals that your nervous system needs support, compassion, and rest. Small moments matter more than you think

One of the most reassuring things about understanding the nervous system is realising that healing doesn't always require dramatic changes. Often, it's the small moments that make the biggest difference. A few quiet minutes in the garden. Feeling your feet firmly on the ground. A cup of tea enjoyed without multitasking. Five slow, intentional breaths. A supportive conversation with someone who truly understands.

These tiny moments of regulation send an important message to your brain:"Right now, in this moment, I am safe."They may seem insignificant, but over time they help close some of those open tabs and free up valuable emotional energy.

The SUMMER Technique: A Simple Tool for Overwhelming Days

When anxiety and over stimulation begin to rise, try using the SUMMER Technique:

S – Slow Down

Pause for a moment. Take a breath before reacting to everything happening around you.

U – Understand What's Happening

Ask yourself whether noise, heat, tiredness, hunger, stress, or sensory overload may be contributing to how you feel.

M – Make Space for Your Feelings

Allow yourself to acknowledge anxiety, frustration, or overwhelm without judgment.

M – Move Your Body Gently

A short walk, gentle stretching, or simply changing environments can help regulate your nervous system.

E – Ease Expectations

You do not need to create a picture-perfect summer for your twins.Connection matters far more than perfection.

R – Recharge Where You Can

Look for small opportunities to rest, connect, or find moments of calm throughout the day.Many parents find that responding to themselves with compassion, rather than criticism, significantly reduces the intensity of overwhelm.

A Gentle Reminder for Twin Parents

If summer feels overwhelming after birth trauma, there is a reason. Your nervous system may still be carrying the impact of what happened. You are managing more than most people can see – the anxiety, the overstimulation, the exhaustion. These are not character flaws, they are messages from a nervous system that has been working hard for a very long time. Healing doesn't happen all at once. It happens through understanding, through self-compassion, through small moments of regulation repeated over time. And perhaps, for today, that is enough.

Twin Parent Takeaways

• Feeling overwhelmed during summer does not mean you're failing, it may be a sign that your nervous system is already working hard after birth trauma.

• Parenting twins naturally involves greater demands, planning, and sensory stimulation, which can increase anxiety and emotional fatigue.

• Watch for signs of overload such as irritability, racing thoughts, difficulty relaxing, or wanting to withdraw from busy environments.

• Small acts of self-care and nervous system regulation can make a meaningful difference over time.

• Use the SUMMER Technique as a gentle reminder to slow down, ease expectations, and support yourself with the same compassion you offer your children.